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Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Writing term 3.

The Dargaville Race track 2016 Me and Tim went to the Dargaville Race track . 15th september 2016 Competing against the best runners in northland At the Dargaville race track i was so excited when we got there but when i had a little peek around the corner i said to myself there’s only little bit of people but when i had a proper good look there was lots of people. It was like a crowd of monkeys. Me and Tim were walking, Kaya and Iverson shouted to us to go and get our uniform, you guy’s are on soon. So we went to get our uniform as fast I caught we raced over to the start when we got there i was like that look like running form Tautoro to kaikohe that look’s pretty long i said i can do that it look easy but when the man said 10 minutes 10 year old boys i was like scaredy cat but when the man came over to tell us when to go i was trying to push up to the front. But when the man clapped the two sticks together we all sprinted as fast as the flash. I was so tired that as soon i got to the hill it I fought like i was simple like and clumsy person.as soon as went down the hill It was like and waterslide but with mude I was like as loud as and gorilla huffy and buffy.as so as i seen the finish line i was so exhausted we had to jump this big boat as soon i jump it People was saying sprint Sonny sprint. so when i got to the finish line my Mum and Nana said good job. What i thought about that day it was so cool and i will never forget that day.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sonny,
    As this is a piece of writing you have completed independently without feedback from teacher or friends I would like you to write about it that it is your first draft. I really like how you worked hard to include a lot of great descriptive language. Well done, the part about everyone looking like a bunch of monkeys made me laugh. An area that you could easily improve on is punctuation. Remember, if every sentence ends with a full stop and ends with a capital letter it is R4. Hey, you know how to paragraph, put them where they belong ;) Well done

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